Tuesday, April 9, 2013

My Chat with MSG

Rachael Marsceau: Hi! My name is Rachael. I am interested in knowing a little bit more about you. First, could you tell me your name?
Monosodium Glutamate: Sure! My name is Monosodium Glutamate, but you can call me MSG for short.
RM: Okay, MSG. What are you exactly?
MSG: I have been a flavor enhancer for over 100 years. 
RM: Where'd you come from?
MSG: My "taste" came from a seaweed called kombu.
RM: I noticed you're in a bunch of my favorite snacks: Cheetos, Fritos, etc. Where else can you be found?
MSG: Soy sauce, many meat flavorings, anything protein fortified or ultra-pasteurized... I used to be in powder baby formula until they discovered I had a detrimental neurological impact on the brains of infants. Bummer!
RM: Something tells me that's not the only thing you have an affect on....
MSG: Well, some people say I'm addictive.
RM: Really? No WONDER I couldn't stop eating that bag of chips! 
MSG: Yes, I will always leave you craving more. I'm in a lot of Chinese food, so that's sometimes the reason you can stuff yourself at a Chinese buffet and then feel hungry shortly thereafter.
RM: I heard they did a test involving you and some rats?
MSG: Yes! After they gave me to the rats, I gave THEM Type II diabetes in just 60 weeks! How's that for karma? 
RM: Um, what about people? Can you give diabetes to people?
MSG: Thankfully, test results vary and are, at times, unclear. But I'm guessing by the major obesity epidemic going around, I have something to do with it!
RM: Thank you for your time, MSG. I think you've cleared up some doubts in my mind and made me realize that I should be just a LITTLE BIT CREEPED when I see your name on a package of food! 
*exits screaming*
*curtain falls*

3 comments:

  1. Hahahahahaha! This is great Rachael! :D He makes me nervous too.

    ReplyDelete
  2. This. Is. Great.



    The only downside is that I no longer want to eat anything ever again. Well.... sorta. lol

    ReplyDelete