Thursday, September 13, 2018

today

"Hope" is the thing with feathers -
That perches in the soul - 
And sings the tune without the words - 
And never stops - at all -

I had tried to avoid looking hope in the face by staying distracted by everything and anything. I usually think of hope as a happy thing, but for me, what began as a happy hope has turned into a very tired and sad thing. This hope that does not go away, no matter how hard I ignore it, wears on me, exhausts me. Reminds me how - still - I don't have what I so badly want. It'd all be easier if my mind could turn itself and be free of desiring, free of picturing, free of planning. I'd love to stop comparing. To stop constantly telling myself I'm selfish for wishing for more when some have none at all. That by some fault of mine God withholds. At twenty-five, I am breaking under the untruth that I must keep striving, striving, striving to keep Him happy with me. I have practiced some kind of subtle prosperity gospel in my daily thoughts. I am tired. So, so tired. What is truth? A question nearly as old as time. Why keep hoping? Should I keep hoping? Won't it make it hurt more when, weeks and months down the road, my prayers' answer is "no"? I don't know. Hope is there at my elbow again, and at that spot just under my heart, and in that awful mirage we call a dream. I don't know which is worse - continually living with hope or burying it. It is not a decision to be made in an afternoon, but I've had so many afternoons, and my eyes are heavy....

Saturday, May 26, 2018

Run!

     The sun is the center of our physical solar system, but the earth is the center of the spiritual cosmos - which means that to be a human, to be a moral being alive in time and space, is to exist spiritually in the center phase of the most important race happening right now. We dare not slack off into the shadows of lethargy. All eyes are fixed on you and me. The spiritual adrenaline is pumping. Forget for a moment your virtual crowd of online followers and imagine all of your spiritual ancestors in the faith watching in the bleachers. Their times are legend; your time is now. Whether you were expecting it or not, the baton of faith, passed down from generation to generation, has now been slapped into your hands.
     Run!
     Run with diligence. Cast off everything that distracts, unfetter your life from the chains that trip your ankles, and bolt with freedom and joy as you follow Christ. It is here, now, that the spirit works tirelessly. It is here, now, that the work of Christ proves triumphant in the world. It is here, now, that the powers and principalities, defeated at Calvary, are being flaunted in defeat by the unity of the church. The race is on - our race! We have one shot, one event - one life. We must shake off every sinful habit and every ounce of unnecessary distraction. We must run.

- Tony Reinke, 12 Ways Your Phone is Changing You