Je suis vivante. For reals.

As I'm sure you've not noticed, this little space of mine has been virtually untouched as of late. Lots going on, lots going on. 

We traveled up to the middle of nowhere in Dakota Territory for another Marsceau wedding. Last one for a while. At least I think so. lol That's 5 weddings in 3 years so yeah. We're all weddinged out. 

Peter turned one and had a stupendously awesome birthday party, if I do say so myself. 30 people were there, and he got amazing presents. He is now a little terror and needs to be closely supervised 24/7 because he loves shredding Kleenex, opening and emptying wipes containers, melting Junior Mints in his sweaty palms, and dumping coffee on the white carpet. 

Chris started work on the addition to our house. It is actually HAPPENING!!!!! I cannot believe it. We moved into my family's house until it's finished, so we've been here just over 2 months, I think. There are challenges with having two sets of stairs and living in one bedroom, but it's been great having babysitters and people to talk to all the time.

I am now teaching 7 students, with a couple more starting after Christmas. It is a blessing to be able to continue that here while our house is being renovated. :) 

I have been sick for the past 2 weeks. Like, I can't even stand up sometimes sick. I don't know why I got it twice, but I'm battling a fever, body aches, dizziness, and major coughing. (Thanks, bronchitis.) I have felt so guilty not helping out around the house or even with Peter. I have missed 2 Christmas parties and couldn't even sing in our church's cantata. Today I was supposed to have a whole day of fun Christmas shopping with Chris, but I had to stay home. It's looking like I'm going to be doing all my shopping online this year. 

I don't think I'm doing Christmas cards this year, guys. I had all these proactive plans to hop on Shutterfly with my hundreds of dollars' worth of coupons and order gorgeous cards for everyone and actually have that whole project done early, and now I'm basically going to Target and looking at their meager card collection with total disinterest and thinking, "There's always next year." I'm sorry. Not doing Christmas cards is like the most unfestive, Grinch-like thing and I'm guilty this time. Thank you so much if you sent us your family card. It's embarrassing, actually, how excited I get when I see a Christmas card in the mail!

I don't think I'll be blogging again before the new year. Who knows. All the pictures I want to post are either on Instagram (where I am most active) or on the computer at home, so hopefully I'll get a chance to catch up later. I wish you all the best Christmas ever, and a joyful and PEACEful new year. :) 

Peter // 10 Months

This little big guy is 10 months old! He loves crawling everywhere and chewing on everything. This week he ate a corner off one of my books, plus half a playing card. :( He dances to music, or any rhythm at all really. (I've caught him swaying to the sound of the clothes dryer.) He knows how to throw a ball, and he's just starting to say "dada," although usually it's whispered. He does NOT like getting his nails trimmed, or being alone even for a second! He loves being outside and watching bugs fly around. He's excited to go to Florida tomorrow!

Peter // 9 Months

I really can't believe my little guy is already 9 months old. But alas, it is so, and I have a first birthday Pinterest board already created so it must be true.

This was a big month for Peter! As if crawling and sprouting two teeth weren't enough, he now spends more time standing than sitting, he learned to clap and wave, he's experimenting with talking, and he rocks back and forth to music. His favorite game ever is peek-a-boo, and just last night he learned to "hide" in his pack-n-play when Chris says, "Where's Peter?" and then JUMP up and smile so Chris will say, "THERE he is!!!!" :) SO fun. 

We got family pictures Saturday night by the lovely Jessica Shae, but while we wait for those, here are a couple of the good ol' iPhone-in-the-front-yard kind. :)

Peter // 8 Months

This has been such a big month for Peter! This month he started officially crawling, AND he has two tiny teeth coming in on the bottom. He is now eating a bunch of solid food: bananas, pears, sweet potatoes, mango, and peaches. He will not touch avocado, and I don't blame him. :P He's outgrown all his 6-month stuff, and some of the 9-month stuff. So he's wearing 9-12 months size and I'm scrambling to find stuff to keep him cool and happy. 

As you can see from the picture above, he just graduated from his (way too small) bath chair to his inflatable ducky tub! This thing is awesome and Peter loves it! Bath time is now splash time as well. :) This month he started his first mimicking thing: he'll start slapping the table if we do. :P (Yeah, I know. So productive and educational.) The magic of Sinead O'Connor's "Only You" no longer works when he's inconsolable. :( Now he likes Birdy's "All You Never Say." Whatever. If it makes him stop crying.

We just booked our anniversary trip to Sanibel Island, FL - where we honeymooned - and we're bringing Peter with us! It'll be his second time in Florida, and we are super excited to be able to show him the very unit we rented three years ago. So much fun ahead!

more Peter pics

Two of our friends captured these pictures on their nice cameras. I'm always thankful for higher resolution pics of my little guy! ;P

Laura's Shower

A few weeks ago, my best friend Meghan and I had the honor of hosting our best friend Laura's wedding shower. It was my first time putting something that big together, so I definitely learned a lot about list-making and organization, but it was SO fun to work with Meghan and pull it off. Pardon the phone quality (or lack of). I was just glad I remembered to get a couple pics before it was all over.

Thank God for Pinterest. 'S all I'm gonna say. 

I also learned a lot about burlap. A lot. For instance, did you know that burlap stinks??? Or that it makes you itchy? Or that it shreds and keeps on shredding if you let it? And that it's barely ironable? 

She got a LOT more than that, I promise. 

Best friends for 20+ years! 

Brookfield Zoo

For Peter's Christmas present, my mom gave us an Unlimited Family Membership to the Brookfield Zoo. Yesterday was the first day we got out there, and we were so glad the weather was perfect! It was Peter's first zoo trip, and even though he fell asleep half-way through, I think it was still a pretty momentous occasion. :)

Sibling Photoshoot

For Father's Day, my dad requested we kids give him a big canvas of a pic of all of us. This prompted us to schedule a photoshoot with one of our friends so we could choose from some actually nice photos. Here are several of my faves! A big thank-you to Faith Linell Photography!

My thoughts at this moment: "Oh my word oh my word oh my word my hand is in an ant pile!!!"

Char couldn't stay serious to save her life.

What's a professional photoshoot without a dead gosling?

Peter and dinner

Instagram unfortunately has kind of taken the place of my blog. It's just so easy to post straight from my phone without having to come up with, you know, a whole blog post. But I want to try to share everything here as well so at least those of you that faithfully read this can stay up-to-date. ;)

Here is a picture of Peter that I took last night. I was feeding him pears and had looked down to get another spoonful, and out of the corner of my eye I see his face break into the biggest grin I've seen in a while. He makes me laugh with his random and unabashed joy. :)

And another, because that face.

And this is the dinner I made last night, pre-cooking. ;) I have been making a lot of new recipes lately so I feel a cooking post coming soon, but I loved that all the color in my crockpot got captured on my phone. 

Peter // 6 & 7 Months

Poor little Peter. He has been on many major trips since his birth 7 months ago! He has been such a trooper with all the traveling. I am very thankful for a nice car seat, toys to distract, music to calm, and family to help. :P The top picture was taken on Peter's 6-month birthday, as we were on our way to South Dakota. Bottom picture is the only semi-decent one I got on his 7-month birthday on the 16th of this month. 

He is now able to sit up unassisted, with only occasional fall-overs. :) We've started some solid foods, and he LOVES it! So far we've done bananas and sweet potatoes, and they are major hits. Soon we will start something new! He is just beginning to figure out the whole crawling thing. Chris and I have caught him getting up on all fours for a few moments before collapsing again. :) I'll put him down on one end of the bed, and when I come back, he's scooted/rolled himself all the way to the far corner. The days of hanging out on the bed are swiftly passing. :( He weighs 19 lbs. 5 oz., and is 27 3/4" long. We still haven't seen a real tooth yet, but I thought the drool was bad a month ago......OOOOOH boy! Poor kid is drenched at the end of the day. He's in Size 4 diapers, and I was happy to find that Aldi diapers work just as well as any others, and are way better a price! Peter still loves his trips to the doctor, We figured out that my little guy was blessed with the same thorn in the flesh that I was - ingrown toenails. They sound like no big deal, but let me tell you, they are a constant annoyance and can get very, very painful. We can't do much about Peter's right now, but as he gets older we will be looking into some sort of operation so he doesn't have to live with that. 

Well, adios for now. Sure do miss blogging. I've actually had things to do lately which is good, but I get full of words and need to put them somewhere. :)

my best friend

"Because of you I can slowly but surely feel myself becoming the me I have always dreamed of being."                Tyler Knott Gregson


Recently the entire world of social media celebrated National Best Friend Day, complete with hashtags and warm fuzzies. I posted this picture on Facebook but wanted to share it here as well. 

This is my best friend, Christopher. We have a blast together. He makes me laugh and he laughs at me. ;) He patiently watches me grow in my cooking skills. He's always supportive. He plays piano with me and is almost as well-versed in Les Miserables and The Phantom of the Opera as I am! He can quote "Jabberwocky" from memory. He works very hard for our family. He loves Italian food and takes me to lots of restaurants even though he knows I order the same thing every time. He holds my hand when we pray. He lets me vent. He dances with me in the kitchen. :) He truly communicates and listens. I love him with all my heart and am so thankful for his friendship in our marriage! 

Faith - Ella Wheeler Wilcox

I will not doubt, though all my ships at sea
    Come drifting home with broken masts and sails;
I shall believe the Hand which never fails
    From seeming evil worketh good for me;
And though I weep because those sails are battered,
    Still will I cry, while my best hopes lie shattered,
                                 I trust in thee.

I will not doubt, though all my prayers return
    Unanswered from the still, white Realm above;
I shall believe it is an all-wise Love
    Which has refused those things for which I yearn;
And though at times I cannot keep from grieving,
    Yet the pure ardour of my fixed believing
                                  Undimmed shall burn.

I will not doubt, though sorrows fall like rain,
    And troubles swarm like bees about a hive;
I shall believe the heights for which I strive
    Are only reached by anguish and by pain;
And though I groan and tremble with my crosses,
    I yet shall see, through my severest losses,
                                 The greater gain.

I will not doubt; well anchored in the faith,
    Like some staunch ship, my soul braves every gale,
So strong its courage that it will not fail
    To breast the mighty unknown sea of Death.
Oh, may I cry when body parts with spirit,
    I do not doubt, so listening worlds may hear it,
                                 With my last breath.             

Les Misérables

Les Mis. Why all the fuss? Well, for me, I fell in love with it slowly. In pieces. And very skeptically. 

My first exposure to it was in a church library. I was semi-responsible for processing books, checking them back in and shelving them, and sometimes making the very difficult decision of whether or not a book was clean enough to remain on the shelves. (Big mistake. Give only one person that authority or let all the books stay. But moving on.) I glanced at the back cover, saw the word prostitution or something similar, and immediately proceeded in having a small heart attack. I made a few appeals and then threw the book away. 

Fast forward a few years and a woman named Susan Boyle makes internet history by singing a beautiful rendition of "I Dreamed a Dream." I loved the song, but knew it was from Les Mis which I still hadn't really looked into so I was like whatever. 

A few years after that, I learned a friend of mine loved the book and highly recommended it. Well, you know how much I HATE books and reading. I had it in my hands the next day. 

The book is 1,500 pages long or something. The unabridged version has many French passages that I could mostly translate but still had to look up on occasion. There are long chapters that get dry, then drier than dry. I was reading a LONG time, but it was shortly into my married life and it was nice to keep my brain occupied during long, lonely days. 

When I finished it, I bawled every single tear out of my eyes. The story of redemption is made only more beautiful by the complex and interwoven characters - their passions, their sorrows, their joys. I immediately emailed my friend and told her how much I loved it. 

But I knew there was a musical some guys came up with based on the book. I knew I already loved "I Dreamed a Dream" and "Bring Him Home." I wasn't surprised to discover MANY new favorites after listening to the musical on CD. I enjoyed two different DVDs of live performances and dreamed of watching a live production whenever it came through Chicago.

Well, last night a friend treated me to an absolutely amazing performance of Les Misérables at the beautiful Paramount Theater.

We both refrained from singing along even though we have almost all of it memorized, and thoroughly enjoyed fangirling during the intermission. And of course we got matching mugs after the show! 

Thank you, Mrs. H., for the wonderful night out, and for recommending Les Mis to me in the first place. ;) 

Peter // 5 Months

So I kind of failed to get a nice pic of Peter today. :( He really lost it this afternoon and I was in no mood to try to make him smile after all that. But he turned 5 months today. 

He weighs about 17.5 pounds. He's in Size 3 diapers. He completely outgrew his bassinet, so tonight we set up his pack-n-play and he'll sleep in that till we figure out how to magically create more space. He can almost sit up unassisted, and has learned to talk in a super high, ventriloquist voice that makes us laugh. He has gone back to waking up 1-2 times a night, so I'm dying. :P He's gotten a lot more fussy with his gums being more sensitive. We laugh because the ONLY thing that works to calm him down every single time he's super mad is to play a certain song. The second I play it on my phone he goes completely silent and listens until it's finished. :) Yay for music and technology! 

So thankful for my little boy. Can't wait to get outside more and enjoy the warmer weather!

Easter // 2015

I hope you had a wonderful Easter last Sunday! Our little family had just gotten back from the FL Keys, so we were thankful to have a short and sweet lunch with my family and then get long naps! I was distraught over forgetting to get Peter his first Easter basket, but I guess there's always next year. ;)

Peter // 4 Months

I'm a little late, but my Peter boy turned 4 months on the 16th. He is rolling over now and I think he has to be close to teething, as the drool amount has increased rather much. :P He can now grab toys and hang on to them, and loves putting ANYTHING in his mouth. (Oh great.) He's hanging out at 15 lbs., so I'm extra excited to get to use my collectible Kinderpacks now! He's getting ready to go on his third big out-of-state trip in a few weeks, and now that the weather's been nicer we've been able to do a few stroller outings. He's back to sleeping through the night, too, much to our delight! He is still such a perfect, happy, good little baby and I'm so blessed to take care of him. <3

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

(A little early!)

Peter // 3 Months

My little pumpkin turned three months old on the 16th. We've been having a lot of fun these days, shirking household duties to lay in bed talking, being obsessed with the ceiling fan, discussing what we're going to learn in school, and reading about the farmer who had a dog named Bingo. Peter weighs about 15 lbs now and just graduated into Size 2 diapers. He's been out-of-state twice now. He discovered his thumb and now sucks on it all the time. He loves tummy time and smiling at Daddy. He's my little buddy. :)

Peter // 2 Months

My little baby turned 2 months old yesterday! The poor little guy is celebrating by trying to get over a cold. :( It's been a blast watching him develop and start to do fun stuff like smile on purpose, coo, and stick out his tongue while he smiles and acts silly. :) He is SO close to rolling himself over, and he's doing a lot better at sleeping during the night. 

We go to the doctor Wednesday and will find out how much he weighs and if he's grown taller, but I know he has to be about 13 lbs. now, which makes carrying him around more of an exercise than it used to be! 

Peter's Faves:

smiling at Daddy (his favorite person EVER)

lots of noise

sucking on his fists

cooing at night

listening to music

2014 // one step forward, two steps back

Last year was a funny one. It was, at the same time, both the fastest and the slowest I think I've experienced. 

Shortly after beginning January with my shiny new resolution of daily exercise and improved productivity, I discovered I was pregnant, and began to "enjoy" four weeks of morning sickness. Gone was my exercise. I think out of the nine months of pregnancy, I exercised maybe 6 days, and consumed enough food to end hunger in Africa. Even though the beginning was a little rough, Chris and I were thrilled to be expecting (finally) and looked forward to becoming parents in October (we thought). 

My weeks were long and monotonous, made up of days with very little variation from routine. I taught violin lessons three days a week, taught PeeWee Patch on Wednesday nights, and kept up with running my home.

In April, I enjoyed the opportunity of decorating and hosting my first table at our church's annual ladies' tea. With help from my mom, I think it turned out pretty nice!

We planned our babymoon for May. Normally the second we're able to go on a vacation, Chris and I head full-speed to a beach somewhere. This time, though, we decided to visit all of his family before we hunkered down and waited for Baby. So off we were to the chilly North. We went to SD first and stayed with what Marsceaus aren't married off yet. ;) They gave me a WONDERFUL birthday dinner, and it was so special to spend my 21st birthday with them. Then we stopped by Chris's sister Claire's in MN before heading up to the northern part of the state and staying with his sister Meredith for a few days. The Larsons were excellent hosts, playing Settlers of Catan late into the night, doing music with us, and showing us all the beautiful waterfalls and touristy places to see in the area.

In June I had a blast putting together a beach-themed recital for my students. It was so much fun, and everyone did a great job! 

Chris and I also enjoyed a camping trip with my family and some friends from church. (Yes, I get major gnarly points for camping at 20+ weeks pregnant.)

June was a pretty big transition month for me musically. After playing only two concerts in the earlier part of the year, my poor violin rarely got taken out of its case. Our main church pianist has been having major health struggles and hasn't been able to come to church much at all. In a matter of about a week, I became the church choir accompanist, AND offertory accompanist, AND special accompanist. It's a good thing I was practically forced to do it, because I'm a timid performer and get nervous like crazy. This experience made me play, for one, but also helped enormously with my playing confidence, since I had to do it all the time. It was also super fun for me, as accompanying is my favorite thing ever to do. The hardest thing I think I've played to date is Dwight Gustafson's "Foundation." Holy moly and toledo and cow. :P

Anyway, July came and we were all invited up to my aunt and uncle's cabin in Hayward for the 4th of July. It was a big reunion type thing of my dad's side, so it was really fun to all be together for a few days. (I also rode the jet ski at 6 months pregnant. Applause please, people.)

My baby shower was in August. I had it so early so my friends would still be home from college and be able to come. About 70 ladies came and were such a blessing with their sweet encouragement and gifts. Everyone's generosity was very overwhelming. 

In September, Chris and I celebrated our second anniversary in downtown Chicago.

All 31 days of October were defined by eager anticipation and unstoppable impatience. I washed baby clothes, cleaned my house a million times, wrapped up teaching for the year, and kept going to the midwife and saying, "Hopefully this is the last time!" You can read all about the birth journey here, but as most of you know, little Peter stubbornly waited till November 16th to make his appearance. But when he did, he sure stole both our hearts in a hurry. ;)

Because Peter came much later than we expected, it was a huge blessing to stay close to home for the holidays. Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year's were all spent with my family; smaller celebrations that still meant everything to me. 

Since most of the year, as I've said, was rather slow and dreary since all I could do was wait for my little guy, I got a lot of reading done. You can read my reviews of the following books here, but here's a list of the titles:

Stargirl // Jerry Spinelli

That Printer of Udell's // Harold Bell Wright

How to Be a Hepburn in a Hilton World // Jordan Christy

Love, Stargirl // Jerry Spinelli

Tiger Lily // Jodi Lynn Anderson

Mrs. Mike // Benedict and Nancy Freeman

Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World // Joanna Weaver

Hood // Stephen R. Lawhead

Hiding in the Spotlight // Greg Dawson

Isle of Swords // Wayne Thomas Batson

"When Did You See Her Last?" // Lemony Snicket

The Unhealthy Truth // Robyn O'Brien

The Search for Joyful // Benedict and Nancy Freeman

Trusting God // Jerry Bridges

Isle of Fire // Wayne Thomas Batson

The Maze Runner // James Dashner

A Wife After God's Own Heart // Elizabeth George

The Ransom of Mercy Carter // Caroline B. Cooney

Legend // Marie Lu

Five Little Pigs // Agatha Christie

Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close // Jonathan Safran Foer

The Complete Idiot's Guide to Natural Childbirth // Jennifer L. West

Homebirth // Sheila Kitzinger

The Westing Game // Ellen Raskin

Surprised by Motherhood // Lisa-Jo Baker

Spiritually, 2014 was a total fail year for me. I didn't do my devotions, did things I knew I shouldn't, and frankly didn't care. I don't really know what's going on with the spiritual side of me right now. I think God is letting me discover that nothing on this earth can truly satisfy except for my relationship with Him. He's showing me that you either love the world and hate God, or you love God and His commandments and shun the world. Friend of one, enemy of the other. The Bible talks about this and it's how it is. Why do I think I can hold hands with both, smile, and say, "Yep! I'm okay! Use me, God!"? Would I use me, with my loyalty being insecure at best? And by the way, how others live is no excuse. Having a horizontal view can cripple a Christian, and it definitely did me this year. I completely lost sight of God and instead was getting hung up on how others were living or backsliding or whatever. (Yeah, I know. As I sat there not reading my Bible. Oh the irony.) 

So once again I am at the start of a new year. By God's grace, I get another chance. I'm focusing on baby steps right now, because I get very easily overwhelmed with the huge list of things I need to work on in my Christian walk. I am trying to make Bible-reading a habit again. (I never used to miss!) My sweet sister-in-law has agreed to be my accountability partner. At the end of the day we text each other with the passage(s) we read and maybe a thought or two. It's good. I am reading Psalms and Matthew again, as those books are my default. :) If you think of it, I'd appreciate prayer that I would recognize lies as lies, and be willing to see where I have deceived myself into thinking what I'm doing is okay instead of choosing what's best. 

2015. Who knows what'll happen by year's end, but I'm hoping to rebuild my spiritual life, jump wholeheartedly into motherhood with its wild and tiny joys, read 25 books, have a garden, and get a dog. I want to make the world better because I'm here. I want to leave people refreshed because of my conversation, and not wearied or unedified by complaining or gossip. It's all possible through God, who can do abundantly above all that we ask or think. :)